Kill Me Softly, Kill Me Sweetly
by Emma44126
Summary: ...just don't break my heart. Depressed and suicidal for years Denmark believes it's finally time to end it all. It is only until Denmark is gone the rest of the Nordics realize how much they would really miss him. They are left to try and reconcile with a dead man and learn how to move on. Mentions of suicide and depression Major character death
1. When Everything Falls Apart

There were times Denmark couldn't bring himself to look in a mirror; times he'd regret he even owned mirrors, it made him see how _tired_ he looked. He was, so _tired_ , of everything. There were times where Denmark stayed in bed all day if he could, he didn't want to get up, to face the world. But he'd get up and stumble to the bathroom and fix himself up even though it pained him to look at himself, he hated looking at himself now, he'd always tried to point out why others hated him, though he knew it was deeper than the skin, it wasn't what he looked like, it was him. After he was dressed well enough to be seen in public and his bedhead was less messy by his standards, he would make his way downstairs to make breakfast, for himself, only himself.

On his way downstairs, he would always stop, there were so many pictures of the other Nordics that it took all Denmark had to not cry. He couldn't help but noticed how big the house was, now that it was just him versus the five it used to be. He stared at the picture of all five of them before grabbing it and turning it around to he saw the back of the frame instead of the people who left him. It was easier that way, to pretend they never existed, like he lived by himself, his whole life, avoid them at meetings, anything, just so he could pretend a little longer that it didn't hurt.

Every day he wishes he could fix his mistakes, maybe if he did they would still be here. He wished he noticed when they were hostile towards him growing up, when Sweden no longer worried when Denmark got hurt but instead yelled at him. When did playing and teaching Sweden how to hold a sword properly, turn to Sweden's sword at his throat declaring independence from their union taking Finland with him.

After Sweden and Finland left, it was Norway and finally Iceland. They all left him. They do not visit, they do not call, they have already moved on and now Denmark is left here trying to fix the pieces, but he's only making it worse. Denmark sets the table for _one,_ though he still has to remind himself, not five, not five you idiot, not five, one, _one_. His hand shakes as he grabs a plate, he grabs only one this time, and he feels a little better, he can finally do something right is what he is thinking. He sets it down and walks to the kitchen to make breakfast, he looks for the bacon in the fridge, because if he's careless enough the grease with hit his skin and feeling physical pain is better to him than emotional pain and the emptiness in his heart.

He looks at the calendar that is held to the fridge with a magnet, but he knows what day it is and the fact he's been pushing this off for _years_. Though the thing he pushed off would be considered good and "getting better". Today is his last day, last day on earth, last day as a nation, _his last day_ and he is spending it burning bacon and choking back the tears that threaten to spill. He's been planning this day for so long he can't even remember the day he thought of it first, yet all with no one else finding out about his plans.

Denmark grabs his burnt bacon and dumps it on his plate. He sits at the head of the table forcefully. It's almost like he wants to crawl in bed again, just to avoid today's plans. He decides to tell Sweden first, _first to leave and first to know_ he decides. It takes him an hour to locate where he threw the practically unused phone, and his hands shake as he dials Sweden's number.

Denmark's lips tremble as he calls, there is a part of him, praying, that Sweden won't pick up, and maybe Denmark can push this to another day. With just his luck, Sweden answers his call on the fourth ring. Denmark's whole body is now shaking, maybe he didn't think this through, at very least he should have thought of what to say, maybe he should just han-

"H'llo? D'nmark?" Sweden asks, there is no emotion in his voice but Denmark's mind warps it into anger and harshness and Denmark feels a lump in his throat like he can't breathe, can't talk, just can't.

He takes a deep breath before speaking, "Sweden," He starts, wiping a tear from his face,"I just want you to know this is the last time I'm calling," His hands are shaking again, he can't take it back, this, this _is_ the end.

"Ok'y..?" Sweden starts, he doesn't fully understand what Denmark is getting at, but with Denmark it's best not to push things and let things be. Denmark lets the tears stream from his eyes and he hangs up, one done and three more to go.

He sits down and puts his head in his arms and lap, he finally lets the dam break and sobs.

* * *

Next to call is Finland, but Denmark doesn't call him until a little after noon. He got caught up looking at the photo album just _one more time_ , Denmark doesn't know how he feels about calling Finland, he was never as close to him, only Norway and Iceland, heck, he was closer to Sweden.

But, sticking to his order of first to leave first to know and so on, he dials the Finnish man's number. It takes only two rings for Finland to pick up, and he happily greet Denmark _unknowing_.

"Finland, I'm just going to get straight to the point, this is goodbye," Denmark says bluntly even though he practically sobbing at the moment, Finland giggles and asks him if he's drunk again, but there is a tinge of worry in his voice. Denmark plays along for his own, dare he say it, amusement, or maybe it was to cope.

"Haha, yep," He purposely slurred, "Went with Prussia just an hour ago and we got hammered!" Okay, maybe he's being too enthusiastic, he hears Finland scold him for drinking before noon, but before Denmark can reply, Finland hangs up saying Hanatamago had gotten into something.

Denmark sits in a nearby chair and laughs for a few seconds before bursting out in loud sobs. After a few minutes he decides it's best to finish the last of paperwork before calling Norway and he locks himself in his study until 6.

* * *

When he comes out of his study it's dinner time, but Denmark doesn't want to eat, he just wants to get Norway's call over with. He lets out a loud sigh. If he thought Sweden's and Finland's calls were hard, he is dead wrong, he is shaking harder and he doesn't know what to say.

When Norway answers Denmark is still silent, he just can't think what to say, how to say, goodbye.

"Denmark? Are you there?" Norway asks with slight irritation in his voice.

"Yeah," Denmark mummers, before continuing. "I think I'm going to miss you the most, Norge," He whispers as he wipes a few tears.

"Denmark, you're going to America's for a week, it's not like you're going to die," Norway tells him now more irritated than when he first answered, Denmark has forgotten about his visit to America's, it was too late for that now. After a few minutes of silence Norway hangs up.

One person is left before it is all over.

* * *

Denmark decides to call Iceland later because he doesn't think he can call him after getting off the phone with Norway and his unknowing comment.

Denmark almost forgets to call Iceland, he was too busy finding the gun he owned and stored in the attic. He had gotten wrapped up in old memories of their stuff through the ages dating back to the viking ages.

But he remembers after he finds the gun, he sets the gun on the counter and dials Iceland for the last time.

It only takes a few rings for Iceland to pick up.

"Hello..?" His voice is a little groggy, Denmark checks the time, it was only about 11:30 pm in Copenhagen so it was only about 9:30 pm in Iceland's capital, Reykjavik.

"Hey Ice, were you sleeping?" It's not on topic but Denmark still worries for Iceland after raising him, and Denmark know Iceland goes to bed after Midnight.

"I have been sick the past couple of days, I think it's because of my volcano again."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, I just want you to know-" he takes a deep breathe before continuing. "This is the last time I'm calling Icey," He tells him using an old nickname.

"What, Denmark? What are you sayi-" Denmark hangs up before he can get his sentence out. It's all over now. He sets his phone down, walks to the counter and picks up the gun.

* * *

Iceland tries calling Denmark back several times and even calls Norway to check on him but neither answer their phones. He is rushing to find his laptop to book a flight to Denmark, it's been a long time since he's heard such sadness in Den's voice that it worries him, he hasn't been like that since Iceland independence.

When his computer finally boots up he finds out the next flight to Copenhagen isn't until 5 in the morning the next day. He curses under his breath, but quickly books it.

He doesn't sleep that night.

When Iceland pulls up to Denmark's house he calls several times, and knocks several time and even yells for Denmark, no answer.

He gets more and more nervous and he quickly locates the key under the mat and unlocks the door. He shouts Denmark's name and wanders through the house. What he sees make his heart feel like it's going to stop. Blood, so much blood. He rushes to Denmark's body and kneels in the blood. He tries shaking him, and opening his eyes and checking for a pulse. Nothing. He sobs into Denmark's cold body and call the other Nordics.

"It's Denmark, he's dead." Iceland sobs.

 **And that's where we are ending it muhaha. Maybe I'll write more? Just ask, but for now I have to leave so the ending was a little rushed, sorry. still hoped you enjoyed, favorite and review!**


	2. Yesterday I was a Different Person

**Iceland:**

Iceland stares at one of the walls in the kitchen. He doesn't move or talk and he feels it's harder to breathe than when he first found Denmark. The only sound is the clock ticking and Iceland has to resist the urge to smash it. He feels as if the clock ticking mocks him in a way. But his feet can't move, won't move, so he stays where he is and continues to stare at the wall. He can see everything and nothing all at the same time, he can see Denmark dark red blood, but at the same time he can only see the white kitchen wall he stares at, he hears all and nothing also, he hears his screaming, and he hears the quiet ticks of the clock behind him. It makes his head pound, it makes him want to slam his head into the counter, he just wants it to stop, just stop, it's driving him mad.

Iceland just wants to wake up.

"This can't be real." He whispers. He isn't standing in Denmark's kitchen, cops aren't all over the place cleaning the scene, and Denmark isn't dead is all he can think. When he pinches himself, he'll wake up in his bed, call Denmark and make plans to visit him more often, if something does happen, he wants to make the best of it. He pinches himself as hard as he can. And-

The clock in the kitchen still ticks. Iceland is still in Denmark's kitchen, the police are still there, Denmark is dead. A tear slips down his face. Now, he really wants to smash the clock. He is going mad, all that's on his mind now is Denmark's death. All that ever will be was his death and it's killing Iceland too.

Iceland doesn't even notice the dried blood on his clothes or the tears streaming down his face. He doesn't notice that his stomach growls for food or his head continuing to pound. All he can manage is to look at the blank kitchen wall and ask himself 'how many days did Denmark sit in here thinking about suicide?'

Iceland bets you couldn't count the years, maybe the decades with both hands, would need your toes too, and maybe that wouldn't cut it either. He probably even thought of it before this house was built, and even that was so long ago. But one thing he knows is that he hates the word suicide, hates the heavy feeling it brings if you say it, the word that doesn't fit Denmark, never would have, but now it does, but to Iceland is feels like if you shoved a circle block into a square hole and Iceland can't even look at the wall anymore, his tears made it hard to see. Denmark is gone, he isn't coming back, and Iceland knows the only way he will ever be able to sleep again is if he sobs until he passes out.

* * *

He is walking around and he is calling out, for someone, _for Denmark._ it's so dark Iceland can't even see his hands he's holding in front of himself. He is now screaming at the top of his lungs for someone as the minutes pass to what feel like an hour, screaming out for Norway or Finland or Sweden… or _Denmark_ , but the sound doesn't come out. Iceland feels like a small child again, alone in his country, before anyone came along, no one is there, and it feels like no one is coming.

Everything flashes white for a split second.

Iceland is no longer alone in the dark. He is in water, he is drowning. He hears noises above him but he can not make them out. He is paralyzed, he isn't even able to look up to the long-boat, that looks as ancient as the viking era, he can't see someone reaching in to grab him. But, before they pull him up, everything flashes again.

Now, all is blurry, like he has been crying. He hears loud shouts coming from downstairs, he hears stuff breaking and people screaming at one another. Someone holds him close and tells him not to cry, that it all will be over soon. They both hear a slam of a door and the sobs of a man, and the elder, whose face too blurry for recognition, gets up quickly and runs downstairs towards the sobs.

There is one more flash of light, and Iceland feels older than he was just a few minutes ago. But, the scene is still set dark, and Iceland can't help but feel nervous. Something is wrong, It is too quiet, even though the only time when it was loud was the shouting each new scene almost felt like it had noise to it, that Iceland couldn't just hear. But this, was suppose to be quiet, there is no feeling someone is coming, no feeling someone is there, no feeling of someone leaving. No, this was the feeling of someone who was left, the feeling of abandonment. Iceland hears the door slam and he jumps. A tall, dark figure walks in, and collapses. He is _sobbing._ Just like Iceland once was.

Iceland walks to him and the man looks up, Iceland sees pain, so much pain in those cerulean blue eyes, familiar eyes, but eyes unlike his own, the man holds him close and whispers that he is gone and isn't coming back, that it was them now. Iceland cries with him. His head pounds harder and harder.

Iceland just wants to wake up.

* * *

Ice cold water hits his face and sends him gasping for air, when he sits up instead of his bed he sees white tile. He hears someone snap their fingers multiple times and he turns his head to look at who is snapping.

"Son, are you okay? We heard your head hit the tile from the other room, when we came out here you were stone cold and shaking." A police officer tells him. Iceland nods slowly but his head is throbbing, he doesn't even remember hitting his head. All he remembers is a clock and white walls. But, when he looks back to the walls he see they are painted a light orange.

' _I must of looked at the walls wrong or with different lighting'_ Iceland thinks, he remembers the annoying ticking of the clock, but when he looks around there isn't a clock in the kitchen, the time is told on both the stove and microwave but neither tick. Iceland find it harder to breathe, he feels as if he is going to faint again.

"Son? Are you sure you're okay? Son?" The cops asks lightly shaking him when he just stares, all Iceland hears is white noise. "Son? Can we get a medic in here?!" The cop shouts to the other room, soon someone rushes in, but Iceland doesn't see them, his head hits the floor again.

 _Maybe he is going mad._

* * *

 **This was suppose to be up in August but I actually had time on my hands so I finished it in just a few days.**

 **So, Denmark is dead, Iceland is going mad, what will happen next? I think I want to do Sweden's next, but tell me if you want to see someone else's before or after. If you want anything mentioned in the story just ask and I'll see what I can do.**

 **Favorite and review, until next time.**


	3. All the Memories Turned Gray

Sweden is sitting in a blue chair in his living room in Stockholm, he received the news from Iceland well over an hour ago. Yet, he still can't make himself stand up. He just stares down at his hands and lets out slow, shaky breaths. He is trying to figure out what has just happened. He never would have been too surprised to find out a country has committed suicide, what will all the wars and everything else, but _Denmark_? He couldn't even begin to think why.

 _He-, he can't help but blame himself._

Sweden thinks of the past they shared and he wishes he could have changed it, he realizes his hands are shaking slightly now, he is stumbling over his thoughts. _That time_ , why is he thinking of that? His heart beat increases rapidly, had to be back when they were vikings, back when they were kids.

Sweden remembers it more clearly, _back before any of them knew how to swim, all three of them in a boat, he can't remember how but he remembers Denmark falling in the ice cold water and thrashing in it, he can almost smell the saltiness of the water, can almost hear Denmark's watery shouts, how he and Norway tried to pull him out._

 _They pulled him in and made their way to the dock not too far, Sweden remembers in perfect detail Denmark's blue face and shut eyes, how he and Norway shook him, trying to wake him up, both of them sobbed thinking Denmark was going to die._ Sweden lets out another shaky breath. He feels a tear slip down his face. He can't remember the last time he's cried.

He can't help but feel guilt for breaking their relationship off. He can practically feel the sword he held in his hands, right at Denmark's throat, the night he left with Finland, the night he claimed independence. He sees Denmark's angry face demanding why he thinks he can just leave turn to sobs and begging him not to leave his brother. That sword at his throat, the words that rolled off his tongue.

" _I am no longer your property, I am independent."_

That night he left with Finland, he heard the words that broke their relationship, their bond, forever. _"You are no brother of mine."_ He remembers those words, they are permanently etched in his brain, the last words Denmark said to him for almost 400 years. They were only just starting to fix their relationship, now, the chance was gone.

All his memories are stuck on repeat, he can't stop them, can't make them go away. Playing over and over. His whole body is shaking now, _his brother, his brother is gone_. He lets himself sob into his hands, he cries not only for himself, but for the other Nordics, who have also lost one of the most important people in their lives.

He knows they will never fully recover. Not with the loss of someone like Denmark, someone so enthusiastic, someone who could brighten up a room with his smile, someone who filled the quiet in their lives, no, never, they would never recover. Sweden shakes his head, _he will never recover._

* * *

Sweden finally stands up from his chair, he knows he will have to go soon, the others are probably there already, he know Iceland is there for sure. but for some reason he can't make himself grab his car keys and leave. It's like every bone in his body is telling him to turn around and run. To pretend that he won't have to walk into the house of a dead man.

It only about 10 in the morning, so he makes himself a cup of coffee. Though Iceland called him, Iceland only told him he found him around 8, so he didn't know anything else about the situation, when- Sweden gulps at the thought, when he held the gun to his head. He shudders, he could never imagine the man he considered an older brother to do this.

But, why didn't he know? His _own_ fucking brother was dying inside all while keeping that stupid, stupid smile on his face. It was their job to be there for each other and he failed Denmark. What kind of brother didn't notice something as big as suicide clearly written on someone's face. Sweden doesn't deserve to call himself Denmark's brother.

He gets the sudden urge to rip his hair out or slam his head into the counter, every single memory is playing in his head, every time he's screwed up, every fight between him and Denmark, they are all playing and he can't make them stop.

He slides down the wall and slumps over, his head is in his hands, angry tears slid down his face, he knows it's his fault. He is so _stupid_.

' _Why did I just brush him off'_ he can't help but think and soon Denmark's last words are playing over and over in his head, _"Sweden, I just want you to know this is the last time I'm calling,"_ God, he was so stupid, how could he not understand that. Maybe, that was the reason he couldn't grab the keys off the hook, _he was supposed to grab them yesterday, the second after he heard Denmark's words_.

He notices he is now fully crying, his cheeks have stream marks from the tears, and his head throbs almost as loud as his heart does.

He hears footsteps down the steps, and he swears under his breath, he hasn't even began to think how to tell Sealand that Denmark was gone, he was always closer to him than any of the other Nordics. He stands up and makes his way back to the kitchen and takes a sip of his- now cold, coffee. His hands still shake, but it's a lot less noticeable now, and he's thankful because he knows Sealand is in the next room.

" _It's better to tell him sooner than later."_ His mind tells him

"Dad? What's for breakfast," Sealand asks him from another room, interrupting his thoughts, Sweden wipes the tears away, _just-, maybe not today_.

* * *

 **Okay, woooow I was gone for a long time, sorry about that, I'm really, really bad at Sweden's POV. I feel like this chapter sucks, I'm not very happy with it, but I have never wrote in this POV before so yeah… I decided to be extra mean and add Sealand at the end there.**

 **So I wasn't doing this intentionally, but I got an idea. 5 stages of grief, Icecube had symptoms of denial, and so I added a little bit of anger for Sweden, mainly anger at himself.**

 **Also, Finland is next!**

 **Reviews are appreciated, Finland's chapter shouldn't take me as long as this sadly did, and all 6 chapter will be up before the 8th of september because that's when I start school. I hoped you liked it :)**


	4. Time Keeps on Slipping

Finland pushes himself to do his regular routine, it's the only way to keep him from breaking down. He needs to stay strong. Breathe in, breathe out, anything to stay calm, he's been up for 20 minutes and he's already gone through 7 coping methods.

His shaking hands pour his coffee and he puts his usual amount of cream and sugar in it, which is a lot. He pulls out cereal from the cupboard and pours himself a bowl. Hanatamago runs between his legs, and he fills her bowl.

He is going to be fine. Perfectly fine. Breathe in for four seconds, hold for seven, breathe out in eight. Keep up the routine. Don't break down. Stay strong. His hands shake so violently that when he tries to set down his coffee cup he ends up completely knocking it off the counter.

Breathe in 4, hold 7, release in 8. He does this while cleaning up the coffee cup and coffee, and while getting the mail, and while taking Hana for a walk. It feels like he's going to be doing this for the rest of his life, which is a long time.

As they walk back home his eyes water a little and he is quick to wipe them. If he lets any out, he'll let them all out. Breathe in 4-

They water a little more, and Finland is so close to looking up how to prevent yourself from crying on some website. He decides that what he needs right now is to sit and relax. He's too shaky to relax though.

So here he is sitting on the couch in the living room, practically chugging green tea because some stupid website said it would help calm him down. Before sitting down, he decided to turn every picture around so he doesn't have to look at them, well all except one. He doesn't know why, but he can't bring himself to turn it around, all he can do is stare.

It's a family picture. From just last December, they last time they all got together as a family. They decided to do one of those Christmas photos humans always did. Just a photo, they didn't do it card style with the words "From the Nordics" in fancy cursive letters. Denmark had joked they should have, that way they could've sent them out to everyone, along with some stupid letter that over exaggerates everything or completely lies about what they did that year. Like Denmark didn't have suicidal thoughts every fucking day. Finland thinks that one would fit better into the 2nd category.

He stares at it a little longer and then Finland lets out a little chuckle as tears stream down his face. In it Denmark's smile is the biggest, always was. He's got one arm around Norway's waist, pulling him closer, the other around Sweden's shoulders pulling him down a little. On the other side of Norway is Iceland, not hiding the fact he doesn't want to be there. Finland is on Sweden's other side, smiling and in front of the two of them is Sealand.

One of them will have to tell Sealand soon, it's would probably be better if they did it together, but they probably wouldn't. It had been bitter between the Nordics for a while, _a long while_ and Sealand was just another caught in the crossfire. Each Nordic had a problem or multiple with each other, and none of them seemed like they even wanted to think about trying to fix it, not even the Dane. He enjoyed a good fight just like the rest of them.

Finland realizes it's the last picture they actually took together as a family, it was late May now, so 5 months since they actually all were together. There is a dull feeling in his chest, how did he not realise they never got together anymore until now? Was it only after someone died you realised things about them you were blind to before?

He also notices that all of their smiles are fake. The fact that none of them wanted to be there was clear. Except when looking at the Dane. Denmark was actually happy to gather as a family, he was the one who always got them together. But then, the longer he stares the faker the smile looks, and Finland realises the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

But that's how he always smiles.

Finland lets out a choked cry. He flips another photo back over. The same smile, the same look. another one and it's still the _same._

Same. Same. Same. Same. Every fucking smile is the same. Fake. False. Forced.

God they were all so stupid. Either that or Denmark was a really good at acting. Maybe it was both. How did they never notice it- because; he always smiled that way.

Finland wonders how long that smile was fake, or how long ago was it real. Maybe somewhere in time Denmark thought it was real too, because; if you fake anything long enough it feels real.

Did he know all along it was fake? Or was he just as blind as the others?

Finland's hand itches to call the other Nordics, but; he believes he should wait. They are all grieving in their own way. None of them were good at grieving together or comforting one another. Except Denmark. He didn't like to be alone, at least that's the front he put off, Finland wasn't sure anymore. God what he wouldn't do to get Denmark back.

Between the questions and now the sudden ringing of the phone. Finland doesn't even notice he forgets about his breathing exercises, or that the room is turning black around the edges and spinning.

All he does is focus on the photo and when he finally passes it out. It falls out of his hand, and the glass shatters when it hits the ground.

* * *

 **Who is a terrible person? Me. How long ago was this suppose to be up? 8 months ago, fuck. I feel like this is also shit, finland is also not my pov, but fuck it.**

 **Norway is last, and then there is a final chapter, hopefully I will actually type it and not make you wait 800000000+ years again**

 **Until next time**

 **Review and Favorite!**


	5. I Want to Sleep Forever

**Lukas - Norway**

 **Mathias - Denmark**

Norway is wrapped up in a blanket, it's now 7:30- almost a full 12 hours since Iceland had found Denmark. And yet he still can't pull himself out of his bed, his body is so numb. His head pounds. His eyes fluttered shut and he wishes that this is all just a dream. But he knows whether he sleeps or not, the reality is still there. Denmark is dead.

Yes, Norway was rude and terrible to him most of the time, every nice thing complemented with an insult, but; he did truly care about Denmark. They were closer than any of the other Nordics, they were together most of the time and they told each other everything. So why didn't Denmark tell him this?

Maybe it was his fault. Every insult finally hit Denmark. Every time he told him he was annoying, in the way, and to go away. He did this. His body shakes slightly.

He can't remember the last time he's actually said something nice to him, at least not accompanied with an insult. Norway wraps the comforter around him tighter and sniffs it lightly, God it even smells like him. Norway didn't even realize how much time he actually spent with the Dane.

Right now, all Norway can do is lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. His eyelids flutter and he considers going back to sleep. Sleep is his solution to everything right now. Sleep is all he truly needs. Though his stomach growls he couldn't care less. His eyes flutter shut, and he drifts off to sleep, however there's a part of him that wishes he would sleep forever.

* * *

Norway was the first one Iceland called. Norway hadn't responded, just let Iceland call and eventually hang up. His entire body felt numb. He stood still and stared at the coffee pot for a half an hour, before he just returned back to bed.

He didn't bother to strip from the clothes he put on, just hopped right in and sleep.

It hurt to think.

His head throbbed, but the rest of his body was numb. Sleep would help. Sleep was what he needed.

The sun burned his eyes. It was already morning. He tried covering his face with a pillow to get a few extra minutes, but decided to just close the blinds.

After they were closed fully, he turned back to his bed, a little more sleep would be nice. Just as he sat on his bed, his phone dinged and he picked it up. He had missed 27 calls and even more texts, not even bothering to read the messages or listen to the voicemails, He simply just turned his phone off and fell back in bed.

* * *

In his dreams was Denmark, which was a part of the reason he wanted to sleep, the other being that it didn't hurt when he slept.

It was snowing lightly out and Denmark held his hand out. Norway simply grasped it. Here, while he slept the words out of his mouth were genuine and not laced with insults. Matthias would simply smile and he would blush.

The dream always continued the same way, but stopped and switched before he got to the end.

But, this time it was different, usually it cut out when they got to town for Christmas shopping. But, now Lukas, was in a cozy, warm store looking at different knick-knacks while Matthias shifted through clothes on the rack.

After, Matthias pulled him a coffee shop and he drank a tall black coffee while Matthias drank some drink with a weird name and lots of sugar.

Finally, they walked home, both carrying shopping bags. Matthias slipped the key in and unlocked the door, they set the gifts down to be wrapped later and sat in front of the fireplace.

Lukas leaned into kiss him, but was stopped.

"What's the matter? We kiss all the time," Lukas whispered. Matthias gave him a sad look.

"It's what I want, but you can't," Matthias whispered. Lukas gave him a confused look so he continued. "They need you more than I do Norway, kissing you would make you mine, stuck with me before your time,"

Norway just continued to give him a confused look, "What are you talking about, Matthias. I kiss you all the time. We're married, _silly_ ,"

"Norway-"

"Why do you keep calling me that?"  
"You're in denial," Denmark whispered.

"Matthias, please stop calling me Norway. You know it's Lukas," Lukas told him.

"Norway, please. Wake up," Denmark begged, tears stinging his eyes.

* * *

Norway's eyes shot open and placed his hand on his heart.

If he had kissed Denmark, he would have been dead. The act of kissing someone in his dream who was dead in real life would result in him dying in his sleep. It would leave Iceland even worse off.

He turned his phone back on and forced himself out of bed.

On his nightstand, was a picture of him, Denmark, and Iceland. He stared at it for a minute before placing a kiss on the Dane's image. He set it down and smiled sadly.

He continued to look at it as tears slid down his face. As he stared at Denmark's face there was part of him that wish he had kissed Denmark in his sleep.

He put the picture down face first, grabbed his phone and left.

* * *

 **Chapter 5 done! One chapter left.**  
 **Sorry this took so long to be put up!**

 **Norway is depression, but also shows denial, which can tie into depression.**

 **So the Lukas and Matthias thing. After Denmark grabs Norway's hand, Norway is really "transported" into the dream, believing he is human and married. Since Denmark is dead, he knows it is just a dream and though he wishes he could have Norway for himself, he knows the others need him more and forces him to wake up.**

 **The thing where if you kissed someone who is dead in your sleep you will die, might be something or something I just made up, honestly don't even know.**

 **If there are any grammar/spelling errors please tell me**  
 **Review and favorite!**


	6. Gone But Not Forgotten

The funeral was bittersweet in a way. It was clear to see that there wasn't a nation that wasn't there, most likely because nation deaths were rare it was even rarer that a nation caused their own death and it was heart wrenching when something like this happened. But, at the same time, it wasn't sad in the way one would think. They did not sob about how they missed him and how they would do anything to bring him back. The week before the funeral had been dedicated to that. But, today they were to celebrated Denmark's life

Instead of his losses and hardships- which there were many, they talked about Denmark's achievements, they talked about how many lives he had touched, how he could make anyone feel better how he was always a shoulder to cry on. They shared funny memories, both good and bad. Yes, they cried, but not because Denmark was dead, but they cried tears of laughter and joy, they cried because they were so glad to even know a man like Denmark. To get the privilege to even know someone as great as him.

He might have left them physically, but not emotionally, mentally, or spiritually.

However, the burial was different. There was more ugly sobbing at this. The last time to look at the body. The last time to actually see Denmark. It made Iceland uncomfortable because he didn't look like himself. He was dressed in a suit that didn't look like anything he would ever wear, his face had makeup to make him appear alive but, it did a poor job.

After both the funeral and burial, everyone went their own way.

* * *

Sweden and Finland tried to visit the grave as often as possible. Whenever Sealand asked, they made sure to go.

Iceland also tried to go often, making sure to go at least once a month. It was harder for him to be there since he lived the farthest away.

Norway was different. Directly after the funeral, he left. He went home and locked himself in and started doing his work from home. He didn't visit the grave for 6 months. How could he look at the grave of someone he knew for over a thousand years?

In all honestly, Norway thought he would die before Denmark. Denmark took blow after blow, physically and emotionally, century after century. Yet, somehow he still remained planted.

Months past and soon it was December and the other Nordics were forcing him to go. Told him it wasn't good to lock himself in his house all the time and it was healthy for him to visit the grave. What were they, his therapists?

Eventually they stood outside the cemetery and looked at the kissing gates. They could only force him this far, he would go when he was ready.

He knew he had to go deep down, but he wasn't ready to enter alone, "Come with me," He whispered, his voice hoarse from barely speaking for the past 6 months, "Please, I can't go alone,"

The walk to his grave felt like an eternity. They stood together and glanced at it, it didn't matter if they visited it everyday or once in a lifetime it still had the same effect.

They stood in silence as the snow fell softly.

Sweden was the first one to walk towards the grave, the wiped of the snow that covered part of the grave.

It read "Mathias Køhler" they had used his human name instead of his country name. No years were listed either. It kept suspicion away.

Finland followed after Sweden and set down the flowers they had brought. It was a mixed bouquet, containing marguerite daisies, Denmark's national flower, as well as red clovers and forget-me-nots which also served as flower emblems to Denmark.

Iceland also brought a bouquet, smaller though, and just containing marguerite daisies.

Norway did not bring any since it was winter and they would surely freeze and die before the next day. Instead, he stayed firmly planted where he was. Sweden walked back to him and lightly placed an arm around him.

"We'll leave you b' wh'n you're ready," He spoke quietly.

Norway was silent for a few more moments.

"I think I'm ready," Norway whisper and the other started to walk away.

"We'll be in the car when you're done," Finland told him as they left and he nodded.

He walked towards the grave and slumped down to his knees and stared at the grave, before breaking out into sobs. He wanted to curse the gods and demand Denmark back. But his words would fall on deaf ears. What was done was done.

He stayed at the grave for a while before deciding it was too cold to stay. He stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Norway gave the grave a small smile before whispering, " _Merry Christmas,_ _Kongeriget Danmark,"_

A part of Norway knew his words were heard as he left, and he knew that Denmark would never be completely gone from their lives

* * *

 _Kill me softly, kill me sweetly,_

 _Just don't break my heart._

 _For death by choice_

 _Would be far less painful or bitter_

 _Than death by_

 _Those you love_

* * *

 **IT'S FINALLY DONE**

 **Enjoy your angst, i still don't know how I feel about this chapter…**

 **It's mainly Norway centered because the others have visited before and made amends.**

 **Review and favorite**


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